je suis Esquimaude

Last Saturday night, my brain was a bit fried and I was staring vacantly at the television when DK suddenly yelled, "Munchy! Come and have a look!" (Munchy and football are this month's names, Bullshit is so last season)
At first, I was a bit grumpy, because I was very content slugging in front of the TV but when I finally managed to drag my lazy/drunken/%(*&^% self to the window, I was overwhelmed by what I saw......
It was snowing and I mean really really snowing in Glasgow! The excitement was too much and I did want to go outside for a split second but the moment didn't last long enough and I just stared in awe for ten minutes and went to bed. The thing which fascinated me themost was the sky. It had this mysterious pink glow to it which was so pretty........or was that caused by something else??????????????????
The next day, I woke up to at least 30cm of snow and Glasgow had turned into a winter wonderland. Needless to say, I went outside and had a ball. We went to the park to find a patch where I could do that snow angel thing, but Glaswegians had their own ideas. People had
brought their toboggans(spelling?), sleighs, skis and snowboards(!) and were all already there! If anyone had thought of hiring out toboggans, they would have made a killing! We found some black garbage bags and had a few runs down the 'slopes'. We also had the mandatory snowball fights, where DK nearly broke my glasses and where I nearly got frost bites due to not owning a pair of gloves. I also got a bit violent,(don't know why, but Glasgow makes me violent) and assaulted a snowman and he just wasn't strong enough and in the end, it was better to put him out of his misery.
It really was super duper uber cool and couldn't have received a better welcome back present.

Just had a big row with DK. It started off with the usual 'I need my space' which then moved on to various topics and now I can't sleep. I have no one to speak to, nowhere else to go but the living room.
When I was in London, I thought I had my priorities wrong. I thought that since the only reason why I came to the UK was to be with DK, I couldn't quite understand why I was in London alone. At the time, I thought the best thing to do was to come back to Glasgow. I promised myself that no matter how crappy my job would be in Glasgow I would cope with it and get on with my life. My new job in Glasgow is crap, it is a bit like being demoted but I still go there every day and I have no intentions to quit. It is true that I have been a little grumpy but who isn't after a day at work? I complain and I moan but that's what I always do, I can't be happy and jovial 24/7. I am not 100% happy but I never am and I do still believe that I have made the right decision in coming back to Glasgow. Anyway, this has sparked yet another disagreement. I don't know what else to do.
I have no money, no one to ask for money and I no longer know what I have to do to make it all work. Did I really not listen carefully? Should I have made sure that the decision wasn't mine? I could sit here all night asking questions and wondering where it went wrong this time but I don't think I have the energy.
What do I want from my life? What will make me happy? Why is everything so difficult? Am I the one to blame? Am I the one who always makes things complicated? Am I the one who is really lost? Will I end up wondering for the rest of my life, regretting my decisions? Dying would be an easy way out but even that seems too hard at the moment.

Have you ever felt as though you were working towards a lost cause?
I've just realised how fuckn stupid I have been for the last year or two, if not longer.
It's all one big fuckn mess.......

I've been reading this blog entry in the SMH about having sex on the first date.
(http://blogs.smh.com.au/samandthecity/archives/2006/03/great_sexpectat.html)___##0##___ I'm not too sure if this makes me a slut, but I don't really understand the big deal. Why do we need to have all these rules about dating/relationships? Why can't we just go with the flow and take it as it comes?
I hate these games people play, I just don't see the point. If we were just bloody honest with each other from the word go, it would save so much time and energy. In this respect, I am glad I am not single because the idea of playing bullshit games drives me nuts.
If you want to call them, just call them, if you don't want anything with someone, tell them instead of one excuse after another.
Ahh, I'm too angry and I can't think straight.

Back in Glasgow, and I reckon things might just work out this time.
I had the most horrific journey back from London and I swear, if I ever fly with Ryanair again, I will kill myself. It might be cheap or whatever but it's the most unreliable airline in the world and I will not go through the uneccessary anguish and stress ever again. I left London around 6 and I didn't get to Glasgow till about 2 in the morning. BULLSHIT
Anyway, I had a job interview on Saturday and I got the job and I started yesterday. The school is much smaller than my previous school and I only have four students, which I actually find more tiring than having 16. I have four housewives in my class who are all here because of their husbands' jobs. The conversation is less imaginative and limited but hey, it's a job. I'm not teaching as much as I would like, so I'm hoping to find another job to keep me busy.
In a way, I do miss London, but I know I have made the right decision by coming back to Glasgow. It's so nice to be able to go out and do things again and be able to eat again. I'm not sure how long we'll stay here but now that the days are getting longer, it is very pleasant to be here......
xxoo