je suis Esquimaude

I do not like the person I have become, and it is time to do some soul searching. I have been hurting too many people and if I don't do anything, I will end up losing the plot.(I may already have lost the plot)
Going home is not the answer, I want to get away for a while, find out what life means. I need to do something rewarding, I'm sick of all the materialistic bullshit and the nature of the industry I work in. I want to go somewhere where my presence is no longer about helping a private company grow but where I see my job improving people's lives. It's time to make changes, it's time to face reality.
I am going to find a volunteer position and get my life sorted.

Do you ever feel like a complete failure? You can no longer do anything right, everything you touch, it turns into shit. Do you ever feel this?
I'm going through one of those right now.
I have no career, no savings, my present job is shit, I'm depressed and my relationship is falling apart. What am I to do? Normally, I'd come up with a plan. but this time, I can't.
I thought I could leave him but I can't bring myself to do it, the thought of not having in my life is too much to take at the moment. But I know that it's all for a lost cause. things will never change, he will never feel the same way, I will eventually drive him away.
I'm too fucked to write any more

I'm not normally very patriotic. I am very fond of my Country and it is where I will always go back to but there are certain things(like our Government) which make me angry etc about it, like everyone else non? The only time I show my patrotism is during international sporting events, especially if I am not at home during this event.
For example, I decided not to stay in Sydney for the Olympics, mainly because the tickets were so cheap and because I didn't see it as a big deal. However, when the Olympics started, I stayed up watching it on TV in France, cheering on the atheletes and praising Australia for a job well done.(This would not have happened if I had been there)
This time, it's the world cup. For the first time in 32years, Australia have qualified and there are many hot players to drool at(from other countries,I've yet to discover a hot Socceroo). I only ever watched football with DK and since he has gone to Germany on his 'once in a lifetime' trip, I thought the hype wouldn't catch on.
I am not sure if it's because I have no friends or if it's because I'm in the UK but it has caught on. I've been watching matches on TV, and I must confess, I've been enjoying them thoroughly. So, when I found out that today was Australia's opening match, I had to watch it. I cancelled my appointment at two and stayed on at the school. There's a huge screen and the TV had to be set up for a social function and since I had another class to teach at 6, I decided to stay on at work and watch it there.
I was very stupid.....My school isn't very well organised, and there wasn't an aerial for the TV. After a frantic search I found an aerial socket on the wall so I got some petty cash ran to the nearest shop and ran back with the correct coaxal with ten minutes to spare before kick off. I plugged everything in and turned on the tv. NADA. Nada nada nada. There was no aerial on the roof of the bloody building!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It was too late to go home and I couldn't really go to the pub so I listened to the radio for a bit and in desperate attempt, I tried to connect rabbit ears to the coaxl and then swing it around near the window, the picture improved and you could make out what was going on. Next thing you know, I had become the statue of liberty. After the first half, my arms were very tired, and I decided not to watch it. Later on, I decided to watch the last ten minutes of the match. Assuming my statue position once again, I watched the socceroos score two goals in the last five minutes of the match. It really was a fantastic feeling. I felt proud to be Australian.
I don't think I will ever be this patriotic again, well, I don't think I will jump for joy with an aerial in my hand again.
Bring it on!